All throughout my cross country days, I was told that if I smiled that I could run harder. When I trained, I was constantly told to reach my cumfort zone and then push further. However, this mentality has crossed over from just my training and permiated all aspects of my life. Unfortunately, this is the same mentality that drive my eating disorder for so long. I was trained to strive for perfection, and I demanded it from myself. As I embark on this new health journey, I am worried that this mentality will try to overpower my well-intentioned vision. Infact, as I began my workout today, the ugly monster of perfection reared its ugly head.
Today I completed my 20 min walk, but I amped it up a bit. It was WAY too hot and humid to walk outside today, although that is always my first choice, so I used my treadmill. I started off with the intention to ease myself back into the whole "working out thing," but about 30 seconds into my workout I was already pushing myself to do better. I decided on a brisk pace of 3.5 mph, but every min I upped the incline 1/2 a degree. I started at 2 and spent the next 19 minutes gradually increasing the incline on the treadmill. At the end of the workout I felt much more satisfied than if I had just walked along on the treadmill for 20 minutes without the urge to challenge myself. In hindsite, I feel that my longstanding nechador perfection will payoff in my new health venture. I will have to keep myself in check, but I think that today was t,y the start of something great.
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